They Were Supposed to be Here
by Msmandijmoore
Summary: When tragedy strikes how does Eva handle the responsibilites she was never meant have? ***Warning major character deaths*** Brettonio universe
1. Chapter 1

Eva pulled into her apartment complex and noticed an unmarked police car sitting in front of the building she had just moved into a month prior. She had graduated college and as a gift Sylvie and Antonio had put the deposit down on and furnished an apartment for her. She pulled into an empty spot next the police car and parked. A figure emerged from the car; she had known him half her life and he was like an uncle to her, she got out to greet him. "Hey Adam, what's up?" she asked wondering what the heck he would be doing at her apartment.

"Hey Eva, we need to talk." Adam gave her a hug, he sounded serious she noted. "Umm, okay. What about?" He was starting to make her nervous. "Can we go inside and talk?" He pointed toward the apartment. "Sure, is everything okay?" Everything in her body was telling her something was wrong. "Let's just go inside." He placed his arm around her shoulders and led her toward the apartment.

Eva spun around as soon as the door shut behind her, "What's going on?" she demanded. Adam was staring at the floor, playing with his fingers, a nervous habit he had done since he was a child, he peeked up at her, "Your dad, Sylvie, and Julian were in an accident earlier." Her heart started to race, "Are they okay? Something's wrong isn't it?" She was panicking and on the verge of a meltdown. "Julian is fine, he has a couple scraped and a broken arm but he was strapped in his carseat, Sylvie was life-flighted to Med in extremely critical condition, it isn't looking to good, kid."

He stopped and gulped, "Eva," He stepped in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders and looked in her eyes. "Just tell me, you have to say it." She knew what he was going to say and she couldn't stop the tears. "The medics did all they could but your dad was pronounced at the scene." The floodgates opened and she pushed herself as far into Adam as she could. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her as she sobbed.

"Where's Julian? He has to be scared. I need to get to him." Eva pulled away from Adam and wiped her eyes, she needed to pull herself together for her little brother and see for herself that he was okay. "He's still at the hospital, they won't release him until they can find a relative." Adam pulled his keys out of his pocket. "Come on, I'm driving you to the hospital."

"I need to call my family to let them know." She was staring blankly at her phone, she felt like she was on autopilot. Adam glanced over at her in the passenger seat, "Voight is already talking to your mom and Kim went to talk your grandparents." He didn't want her to have to make all the notifications, it's wouldn't be fair. "I need to call Diego and Sylvie's parents." She felt void of emotion, it was weird she always imagined getting the call that her dad had been shot and killed, she just figured she would be a screaming mess but she felt numb.

She stared at Diego's number not wanting to destroy his first year at college; she hit the call button, "Sister! What's up?" he sounded happy and she instantly regretted not letting her mom be the one to tell him. "Diego" she found her emotions and the floodgates opened, she lost it, she couldn't continue. Adam pulled the car over and took the phone from Eva. "Diego, it's Adam, I need you to book a ticket home and get here as fast as you can." He didn't want the kid a mess on the plane "Okay? Is something wrong?" Diego knew there was if Eva was with Adam. "Please just do it, I'll explain when you get here, send me your flight info and I'll have someone at the airport to pick you up."

Adam let the car set there and just let Eva cry. "I need to see Sylvie and Julian." Eva sniffled as she tried to catch her breath from crying. Adam nodded and put the car back in drive. "I want to get an update on Sylvie first, I'm not leaving Julian after I get there."

Adam led Eva in the doors at Med and found Maggie at the nurse's station. Maggie spotted him and her face turned somber. "She needs an update on Sylvie." Maggie looked at Eva and frowned. "Honey, I'm sorry about your dad." Eva wiped the tears that were threatening to fall, "Thank you but please can you tell me about Sylvie, I want to see her and I need my brother." Maggie checked her chart, "the doctor needs to talk to you about Sylvie, let me put you in a room and then we'll deal with your brother, he's sleeping.

Eva couldn't sit, she was pacing back and forth, it had been twenty minutes and the doctor still hadn't come into update her. "What is taking so long?" she was getting agitated. Adam just watched her pace without saying a word. The door opened and a man in his fifty's entered. "Are you family of Sylvie Dawson?" he asked looking between the two. "I am." Eva raised her hand. "You're her…?" "Daughter, I'm her daughter, Eva Dawson." Eva spit out.

The doctor looked at Adam and then back at Eva. "Ms. Dawson, your mother was brought in with very critical head, spinal, and internal injuries. She was taken immediately to surgery to repair the damage, the damage was severe and your mother's heart stopped twice on the operating table, unfortunately the second time, despite all extraordinary measures, we were unable to revive her." Eva could feel all the oxygen being sucked out of the room, her lungs were deflating, and she felt dizzy. She felt arms wrap around her and everything went black.

"Eva…Eva" she could hear her name being called but it sounded like it was a million miles away. "Eva!" She slowly opened her eyes; Adam was kneeled on the floor next to her. Her head was spinning and she remembered Sylvie and her heart started to race. "Where's my brother?" she sat up too quick and her head felt like it was going to explode she felt sick and lunged for the trash can barely making it.

Adam handed her some paper towels from the sink by the kitchenette. "He's in his room still asleep, we can go there now. Are you okay?" he crouched down next to her. Eva looked him in the eyes; she could tell he was exhausted and tying not to show any emotion. "You can cry, they were your best friends too." She leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. "I'll cry later, my job right now is to take care of you and Julian, you are the most important things right now." Eva hugged him a little tighter. "Thank you."

Eva stood in the doorway staring at her little brother lying in the hospital bed. He looked so tiny and fragile, a far cry from the loud, boisterous, rough and tumble, four year old who found it hilarious to jump on her bed to wake her up in the mornings. "You don't have to tell him yet, maybe give it a day." Eva looked over at him and nodded. "How do you tell a four year old his mommy and daddy are gone forever? Me and Diego at least go to grow up with dad, he'll never have that."

"Very simplistically and carefully. You could let your grandparents or aunt do it." Eva shook her head, "No, I'm his sister, I need to do it." Adam reached over and squeezed her shoulder. "You're are a great sister and daughter." Eva sighed, "Who is he going to live with?" She stared at Julian, she couldn't bare losing him to Indiana. "Honestly, I don't know, they're releasing him to you tonight though. I guess they'll figure everything else out after they look at their wills." Adams phone buzzed and he looked down at it. "Your mom is here with your grandparents."

Eva walked over to her brother and pushed his brown curls out of his face, "hey monkey blue eyes, I'm coming right back for you." She whispered and kissed him on his forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

Eva walked through the consult room door where her family was waiting. She spotted her mom and headed straight into her arms. "Mom" was all she could choke out before she started to sob. Laura held on tight, Eva felt like she was five years old again and had just had a nightmare. "It'll be okay baby" Laura was trying to soothe her. Eva pulled back and looked at her mom in the eyes, "Mom, Sylvie died." She could barely get the words out; she heard a gasp come from behind her mom and remembered her grandparent were there.

"Abuelita, I'm sorry." Eva started to sob again as she moved from her mom to her grandma wrapping her in a hug, she felt her grandfather hug the both of them. "Is Tia on her way?" she managed between sniffles. "Her and Matt caught a flight, they'll be here in a couple hours." Her grandfather informed her. "Mija, where's Julian?"

Eva wiped her eyes and looked back at Adam and her mom, "He's asleep, the nurses are watching him. He has a broken arm and some stitches but he's okay, they're sending him home with me."

"Oh honey, do you think that's a good idea?" Laura was concerned for her daughter. "He's my little brother, of course I think it's a good idea, he's lived with me his whole life. I'm the most stable thing he has at the moment, his mom and dad are both dead." Laura flinched as Eva snapped the last word at her. "Baby, I didn't mean it like that." Laura tried to backpedal.

"And where else should he go? He's four, he should go home to his house and his bed where he feels safe." Eva was channeling her emotions in to anger. "I just meant that maybe you should have time to grieve, your brother will be her soon and you two need to be together with family."

"Julian is my family, he's my brother, Sylvie's parents, who will be here soon, they are my family, we're all family." Eva was yelling as she flung her arms around the room. Adam stepped in, "Eva calm down, I think everyone's emotions are high, your grandma is crying, why don't you go to her." Eva spun around and joined her Abuela on the couch in the corner with Adam following behind.

"Sylvie's parents don't know yet, they just know there was an accident and it was bad." Adam pulled up a chair and sat in front of Eva and her grandparents on the couch. "I can tell them when they get here or one of you guys can. I will leave it completely up to you." Eva nodded her head, "Thank you for everything." She started to cry again. "Is there anything I can get for you guys?" he looked back at Laura then back at the three in front of him. "Kim, I want to see her." Eva asked through tears. Kim was her dad's best friend, most assumed it was Adam but in reality Adam was just along for the ride. Her dad adored Kim, she had been his partner for six years and she knew him better than almost anyone.

"She's down in the waiting room. I'll text her." Eva stood up and shook her head, "No, I want to go down there." Adam nodded his head, "If that's what you want but I'm going to warn you there are a lot of people down there." Eva moved toward the door, "I'll be okay."

Eva paused at the elevator that led to the waiting room and just stood there, "How many people?" she looked over at Adam and he shrugged. "I know there's reporters outside, none were allowed in and there's security controlling who comes in and out." Eva exhaled loudly and pushed the button and the doors opened. "I'm praying all this is a nightmare and I'm going to wake up soon because there is no way my dad dies in a car wreck when he get shot at for a living and my little brother has to grow up without a mom and dad." She was thinking aloud watching the floors descend, Adam pulled her into a hug and just held her.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, "You ready?" he asked. "Yes" she took a deep breath and started toward the waiting room. Adam flashed his badge at the patrolman in front of the waiting room doors and the officer opened the door for them. Eva stepped through the door and slowly all heads turned towards her and the room went silent. Eva looked around; she figured there were at least a hundred people shoved in the waiting room alone, she felt overwhelmed and just wanted to find her firehouse and district families. She turned to Adam, "Do they know about Sylvie?" she whispered and Adam nodded his head. She looked back out at the crowed.

Eva wanted to say something to all these people who came to show support to her family, she knew they didn't have to and she appreciated it. "Hi, I'm Eva Dawson, Antonio and Sylvie's daughter, I just want to say thank you for being here to support us, my family appreciates it very much but please do not stay, there is not anything that can be done here. My dad and Sylvie were first responders just like every single one of you and they would want you out there helping people rather than sitting here. There is so much good you can do out there so please go and do all you can, that is how you can honor them. I would like to ask their units to stay though for a couple of minutes. Thank you." Eva was struggling not to cry in front of all the strangers.

Twenty minutes later and countless condolences and the only remaining faces were those of her family. Every single one was tear stained, "I don't know what to say." Eva was beginning to cry. Boden stepped forward and put his hand on her shoulder, "you don't have to say anything, it's not your job. You need to mourn and be with your family." Eva was staring at the floor, "But all of you are our family too, I've know all of you most of my life and Julian has literally known you all of his, you delivered him inside the firehouse." She let out a little laugh remembering the day and thinking she needed to write all the little stories down so she could tell Julian as he got older.

Voight stepped forward, "Look kid, we're here and not going anywhere, whatever you need just ask and it's yours. Yes, we're family but right now you have two little brothers who need you. So, you go be with them, we all have each other and as much as it hurts, we will get through it and survive, you owe us nothing." Eva hugged him. "Thank you but the only thing I really need right now is Kim." Hank squeezed her tight. "She's yours, Adam too for as long you need them."

Eva looked at all the solemn faces, "Thank you guys, I love you all and I'll let Julian and Diego know you were here but please don't wait around." She sniffled. The room started to clear as everyone gave her hugs. Voight stopped in front of her again, "Headquarters should be contacting you in the next day or so, if you want either Trudy or I can handle them, just let me know and we'll get all of that taken care of." Eva nodded, she hadn't even thought about funerals yet and had no clue how to even begin. "I will." She gave Voight a hug and watched him disappear through the doors.

Eva turned and looked at Adam and Kim and began to cry. "I don't know if I can do that again." She moved toward Kim and hugged her and Kim began to cry with her.

"Your not going to, the department has decided to handle the press for the time being." Adam explained; he had been having a conversation with Platt as Eva talked with everyone. "There will more than likely be a lot of reporters harassing you the next couple of weeks so you'll have security and the full backing of the unit and the department." Eva looked up and nodded to Adam as she continued to cry into Kim's shoulder.

Eva walked through the door to Julian's room and found him sitting on his bed playing on an iPad. He looked over at her, "Sissy." He hollered. "Hey buddy, the doctor told me you broke your arm and had to get stitches on your forehead." She teased him. He nodded his head sadly, "yeah it hurted really bad." He pouted. "I know buddy. Hey, I'm going to spend the night tonight and watch you, how does that sound?" Julian's eyes lit up. "Awesome!"

"Okay, well the doctors are going to finish checking on you and your abuelos are going to come in and see you." She was trying to be brave for him; she didn't want to upset him just yet. "Sissy, when can I see mommy and daddy?" Sylvie sighed and looked at Adam and Kim pleading for help. "Hey, Julsey, how about we get ice cream when we leave here and me, you, aunt Kim, Eva, and Diego will build a fort and spend the night and we can talk about mommy and daddy tomorrow. Is that okay?" Julian pumped his good fist in the air and yelled "Yeah."

It was well after four in the morning when Adam carried Julian into the house. Eva and Diego were exhausted and Kim and Adam hadn't slept in days having just come off a long case they had been working. "Just put him in my bed, I want to sleep with him." Eva instructed Adam who took off up the stairs. "Do you two need anything?" Kim asked Diego and Eva. They both shook their heads. "It's okay, I'm going to go to bed, and thank you guys for everything, you don't have to stay." Diego gave Eva a kiss and a hug and started to head for his bedroom.

"I'm staying, Adam will be back in a little bit." Kim informed her. "You can lay down in Julian's bed or the couch." Eva offered. Kim nodded, "It feels like a dream doesn't it?" Kim kept her eyes on the ground, she was trying her hardest not to cry. "I haven't really had a chance to sit down and think about it. Like what do I do next? I know I'm next of kin but how do I handle everything? Who does the will?" Eva threw herself down on the couch and sighed loudly.

"One step at a time, Adam and I are going to help with everything and I'm sure your family will too." Kim was trying to reassure her but was having a hard time keeping it together for Eva. "I miss him so much already, I loved him you know." Kim started to cry. Eva was watching her and started to tear up, "I know, dad has always adored you, he said you reminded him of Jules, kick ass and smart just like her." Eva chuckled.

"You know the first time I remember seeing you, you were about ten and you were arguing with your dad about spending the night with a friend. And he told you no and you said 'well dad that's unfortunate because now you're going to have to deal with us bugging you all night instead of her dad.' And I walked away laughing knowing he had his hands full, he was so flustered not knowing how to handle you."

"He never quite figured out how to handle me did he, he's so used to people doing what he says and here I come not ready to listen to anyone and willing to argue everything." Eva sighed. "You know I feel numb, never imagined I would, I think I'm tired but I'm not going to able to sleep." She wiped her eyes.

"I know, I feel the same but we do need to try, it is going to be really tough tomorrow and you'll need all the rest you can get." Kim encouraged her. "I guess I'll try then, umm blankets are in the closet at the top of the stairs. Night Kim thanks for everything." She leaned in and gave Kim a hug. "You too honey, love you."

Eva felt her body moving, "Eva." She thought she heard someone whisper her name. "Eva." She heard it again and opened her eyes; Diego was standing above her and put his finger to his lips telling her to be quiet. "What bub?" she whispered as she reached for her phone to check the time. "Sylvie's parents are here and want to talk to us." Eva groaned and pulled herself up and grabbed her robe careful not to wake Julian.

"Eva I know we only got to see each other for a couple minutes at the hospital, I'm so sorry." Sylvie's mom came toward Eva as she came through the door. Eva returned the hug and held on tight. "Thank you and I'm sorry too, I love Sylvie so much." Eva started to cry again. "Mrs. Brett." Sylvie's mom interrupted her, "Call me grandma or Doris, honey." Eva nodded. "Doris, I'm not sure how you want to handle everything, I'm waiting to find out about funeral arrangements from the departments for both of them."

"We'll help any way we can, just let us know honey." Doris looked back at her husband and nodded. "Is Julian awake yet?" She asked. Eva shook her head and yawned, "No, he took his pain meds about two hours ago, he should be up in the next couple of hours." Doris started to cry and her husband came over to comfort her. "She was always the sweetest baby and little girl, I can't believe my baby girl is gone." Doris wiped her eyes, "Julian is all we have left of her."

Eva couldn't stand to watch other people cry, she was having a hard enough time holding herself together but couldn't imagine what losing a child would feel like. "Hey, we have to tell Julian later, I would really like it if you guys would be here. I think he needs all the love and support he can get."

"We'll be here just tell us what time." Frank, Sylvie's dad finally broke his silence. "Uhh, how about noon? I need to get my grandparents here also and it gives me a couple hours to get cleaned up and organized."

Eva hated the thought of having to inform a four year old of his parents' death. She kept thinking about what ifs, what if he didn't understand? or what if he freaked out? All of which were possible, she just wanted as many adults as possible in case she was unable to follow through.

Diego made his way to the couch and plopped down beside her and laid his head on her shoulder. "I miss him." He said simply. Eva peeked over at him, "Me too, it's too quiet here." Eva readjusted and put her arm around him, "I'm overwhelmed, I don't think I'm adult enough for all of this yet." Eva sighed. "No one is ever adult enough for this but here we are." Eva chuckled, "God, when did we become the adults? Weren't you just shooting me with nerf guns and I was screaming for mom?"

"Feels like a million years ago, a whole other life time that I'm not even sure existed anymore, like when I got kidnapped, I'm pretty sure I dreamed that whole thing." Diego heard a creak on the stairs and looked up. "Morning guys." Kim greeted Diego and Eva. "Morning" they both said in unison. "And no you didn't dream it, I was there and everyone was terrified." Kim stopped at the kitchen door. "Do either of you want coffee?" Both nodded their head and laughed.

"Why do I have to take a bath? I hate baths." Eva was getting frustrated, Julian wasn't being cooperative and the family was supposed to be there in less than an hour. "It's not a full bath, I just need to clean you up really good so your grandma's can love on you without you smelling like a little boy." Julian giggled, "But I am a boy sissy!" Eva tickled him on his armpit and he squirmed away from her. "Are you sure? I don't know about that. Hmm, how can you prove it to me?"

Julian flexed his good arm, "Look at these muskools, just like daddy, he's teaching me boxing." Eva smiled at him. "I see, just like daddy." Eva finished washing him. "Okay bub, you need to get dressed but I need to help because of your arm." Eva followed him into his room.

"Grandma!" Julian spotted Sylvie's mom as she came through the door. She hugged him careful not to jostle his arm. "Oh my gosh, look how big you have gotten." He stood straighter, "I'm trying to get tall like daddy, I think I'm almost there, right bubby?" Julian turned around to look at his brother. "Yes, Julsey, you're almost there." He feigned a smile.

"Everyone's here, my grandparents are down in the family room, it's probably best if we do this down there." Eva gestured for Sylvie's parents to follow her. "Hey, Julian were gonna talk to you about something very important so I need you to listen and sit still downstairs okay?"

Julian looked confused, "But my toys are down there, I can't play?" Eva held his good hand as they walked. "One toy but you need to listen." Julian nodded his head, "One toy."

Julian sat on Diego's lap playing with a matchbox fire truck rolling it up and down his brothers' arms. "Julian, remember I said we need to listen. I'm going to tell you something and I need to know that you understand." Julian stopped playing with the car and looked at Eva. "The car crash you were in yesterday was very bad. Do you remember they had to use the tool to cut you out of the backseat?" Julian nodded his head. "Yeah I was crying and mommy and daddy wouldn't talk to me."

Eva took a deep breath willing herself not to cry and looked around the room at everyone, "Well mommy and daddy were hurt very badly and they weren't able to answer you."

"Why not?" it was an innocent question from a four year old but it killed everyone. Eva grabbed him from Diego's lap and sat him facing her on her lap. "Julian, mommy and daddy couldn't answer because they were hurt too bad and they went to heaven. Do you know what that means?" Julian stared at her a moment then looked at Diego.

He stopped and thought hard, "They died?" he asked and Eva could feel her self starting to cry and pulled him into a hug. She felt arms wrap around her and knew Diego was hanging on also. She just held him and sobbed, she lost track of time, it felt like hours.

She pulled back and looked at him, he seemed okay, "You know that means they are not coming home anymore right baby?" she wanted to make sure he really understood. He turned and looked around the room at all the adults and started to cry, "Sissy, I want daddy and mommy." Eva wiped her eyes, "I do too buddy, everyone does."


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on Julian, we have to go or we'll be late." Eva was getting frustrated with her little brother, they needed to be to the lawyer's office in an hour and Julian was refusing to put shoes on. "I don't want to go, I'll be bored." He complained as he sat on his bed not moving. "Okay, you can take your iPad and we'll get ice cream after. How does that sound?" Julian was thinking hard; he reminded her so much of their dad when he was trying to make a tough decision both of their foreheads scrunched up and their eyebrows furrowed, Eva thought it was the cutest thing. "Fine, but I want chocolate ice cream." He agreed as he started putting his shoes on.

It had been two weeks since the funerals and it had been hard, Julian cried constantly and argued everything Eva asked him to do. He was newly terrified of the dark and would only sleep with her and to make matters worse he was attached to her and wouldn't let anyone watch him, he had meltdowns with her grandparents and daycare so Eva was missing work and was scared she would be fired.

"Thank you, baby." she kissed him on the forehead where his scar was and helped him finish tying his shoes. "Remember you have to be quiet and good okay." She reminded him as she buckled him into his car seat and triple checked the straps.

"Sissy when I can take this stupid thing off my arm?" Julian asked from the backseat, Eva peeked in the mirror at him but quickly returned her attention to the road, she hated driving since the accident. "A couple more weeks Julsey and it can come off."

Julian was digging in it, "But it itches, and I can't get it." He was whining, another new habit that was annoying Eva.

"Don't itch it, play on your iPad and you'll forget about it." Eva instructed him and Julian sighed, "But Mommy would make it stop itching." He pouted at her. Eva didn't know how to respond; her eyes were starting to tear up and she didn't want to cry in front of Julian and make him feel bad for mentioning Sylvie. It was all starting to get to her, and she didn't think she could do this. She kept quiet the rest of the drive and let Julian chatter away in the back.

Eva sat in the big chairs in the lawyer's office with Julian in her lap and Adam and Kim across from her. "I'm not sure why we're here." Adam stated not really to anyone. "We're in the will apparently or we wouldn't be here is my guess." Kim whispered to him. Eva watched their banter back and forth and missed her dad and Sylvie and hated that she had to be here to deal with all of this on her own. Diego had gone back to school, Matt and Gabby had returned to Puerto Rico, and Sylvie's parents had to return to Indiana, leaving her with just her grandparents who were having a hard time dealing with all of it, so she let them off the hook and promised to update everyone after the appointment.

"Are Mommy and Daddy going to be here?" Julian looked up at her, it was the first time he had asked about them coming back since the funeral and Eva couldn't control her emotions any longer. She handed him off to Adam and made a dash for the restroom. She stood in front of the mirror and stared, she didn't recognize herself, she looked like some drown ragdoll version of herself with dark circles from lack of sleep and a tear stained face. She heard the bathroom door open and felt arms wrap around her.

"None of this was supposed to happen, they were supposed to be here. Why them? They were two of the best people I know." Eva cried into Kim's shoulder, she had held herself together since the night of the accident, she had needed to be strong for her brothers and her family, but she couldn't stop the tears any longer. "I don't think I can do this, I'm not ready."

Kim held onto her, she didn't offer any words, she just silently let her cry. Eva cried for what felt like hours until she had no more tears left to cry and pulled back from Kim as she wiped her face, "Thank you." Eva offered as she pulled Kim in for a hug. "I know it's hard for you guys too."

Kim shook her head, "No, Eva they were your parents, you loved them in a way I never could, they were two of my best friends, but nothing can compare to how you're feeling. And you are ready and you can do this, don't discredit yourself, I've watched you grow up so much over the a last several weeks and I can say your dad would be so proud of how you have handled all of it, especially Julian. You could have passed him off to someone else, but you were hellbent on him feeling safe and comfortable."

Eva nodded her head, "He's just a baby, he should feel that way. You know when dad and Sylvie told me that she was pregnant I was weirded out, I was eighteen and all of a sudden I'm going to have this brand new baby brother but when I got the call that Sylvie had him at the firehouse and they almost died I was so scared I rushed to the hospital and then I saw him and I fell in love, he was all big blue eyes and lots of brown hair and the cutest thing I had ever seen, and you know, he still is." Eva chuckled as she wiped tears from her eyes.

There was a knock on the door, "Everything okay in there? The lawyer is ready" Adam called from the other side. Eva checked herself in the mirror one more time and nodded at Kim as she pulled the door open, "Yup, everything's fine, let's do this." She told him as she tickled Julian and he squirmed in Adam's arms.

Eva sat across the desk from the lawyer with Julian lying on the floor at her feet watching a movie with his headphones on and Adam and Kim to her right. She was nervous, she had no idea how this worked or what to expect. The only thing she knew was that she would find out who Julian's guardian would be. That was what she was most scared of, she was praying that he wasn't going to be shipped off to Indiana to live with Sylvie's parents, she wouldn't be able to handle it if he was. Yes, she was overwhelmed and had no clue what she was doing but she didn't want to lose him.

Eva was trying to pay attention, but she didn't care about the money or the house and cars. "Sylvie Dawson's pension will be used in the care of Julian Dawson and Sylvie Dawson's life insurance will be paid to a trust for Julian Dawson until his twenty-first birthday and Antonio Dawson's pension and life insurance will be split evenly between Eva, Diego, and Julian Dawson with Julian's portion of the life insurance being paid to a trust until his twenty-first birthday." The lawyer asked her if she understood and she nodded her head barely able to comprehend what he was saying.

"All real and personal property and bank accounts will be used by the guardian of Julian Dawson and in the event the assets are liquidated the money will be held in a bank account for use in the care of the child." Eva nodded her head in agreeance again, eager to get to the information she really needed to know.

"Now, concerning guardianship of the child, Julian Dawson," Eva was so nervous she could barely keep herself together, she felt like vomiting. She looked over at Kim and Adam and grabbed Kim's hand and held on as if her life depended on it, she closed her eyes dreading the words that would come out of the lawyer's mouth. "Mr. and Mrs. Dawson have named Adam and Kimberly Ruzek as the guardians of Julian." Eva released the breath she had been holding and looked at Kim with wide eyes.

Adam spoke up, "What would happen to him if we needed to decline guardianship?" The lawyer looked over the paperwork, "Then guardianship would default to Eva Dawson." Adam glanced at Eva and winked. "We're in a position where we shouldn't be taking on more responsibility and Julian is doing good with his sister, we think he is where he needs to be, so we are going to respectfully decline guardianship." Kim informed the lawyer as she gave Eva's hand a little squeeze.

"Okay, then we will file guardianship papers for Ms. Dawson, as long as that is what she wants." The lawyer looked at Eva, she was scared to legally accept the responsibility, but she nodded her head and started to cry and grabbed Julian from the floor and hugged him as tight as she could.

Julian was happily eating his chocolate ice cream across the table from Eva as her, Kim, and Adam discussed the specifics of the meeting. "So why did you guys not take Julian?" she was curios knowing they loved her little brother as much as she did. Kim smiled at her, "We wanted to wait a little longer until we announced it but.." Kim paused and grabbed Eva's hand, "We're pregnant, twins actually, and we don't think it would be fair to Julian to have to have so many changes in his life." Eva squealed and pulled her in for a hug.


	4. Chapter 4

Eva could hear the incessant buzzing of the alarm clock on her night stand, she sighed and turned the alarm off and laid back down staring at the ceiling, "four hundred thirty eight" she whispered quietly to herself, she took one more deep breath and rolled out of bed to get the day started.

Eva tiptoed quietly into Julian's room, hoping he was still asleep so she could surprise him, "Julian, it's time to wake up." She whispered in his ear, he stirred and rolled over but didn't wake, "Julsey, we have to wake up or you'll be late" she teased as she gave his tummy a tickle, he popped his eyes open and giggled, "Is today when I go to kindergarten?" his bright blue eyes smiling with excitement.

"Yeah baby it is, we need to get up and moving okay?" She waited for Julian to pull himself out of bed before moving toward the kitchen to make breakfast and lunches. She had taken the last year off work to care for Julian and deal with the case against the drunk driver who had taken her parents lives and she finally decided she was in a good place to try to go back to work so she had scheduled an interview with a local news station for an intern position.

"SISSY!" Eva snapped out of her daydream at the sound of Julian's yelling. "I CAN'T FIND MY MINECRAFT SHIRT!" Eva sighed and headed towards the stairs hoping she could find the shirt or he would probably have a meltdown and that's exactly what she wanted to avoid. The therapist assured her that he would get better with time and he had but he was still having nightmares and when he didn't get his way he would completely lose it. "I'm coming" she hollered hoping the morning goes smoothly.

"You ready?" Eva grabbed Julian's hand as he bounced excitedly beside her, "I can't believe I get to go to big kid school now." He pulled on her hand dragging her in the direction of the doors as the other kids and scared looking parents filed in ahead of them. "You're going to be on your best behavior and do what your told, okay." She kneeled down to face him outside his classroom. "Yes, sissy I promise." He flashed a smile at her. "Okay, then let's go meet your teacher!" she exclaimed and led him into the classroom.

Eva stared down at Julian as he looked around the classroom in awe, taking it all in, his eyes were as big as saucers, there were so many colors and kids and new objects he didn't know where to start. "Hi, I'm Ms. Foster." A blonde woman who couldn't be more than twenty-five knelt down in front of Julian to greet him.

Julian darted behind Eva's back and peeked around, "Hi, this is Julian Dawson and I'm his sister Eva." Eva extended her hand to greet the teacher, "Julsey can you say hi to your teacher?" Eva felt his grip tighten on her pant leg, "Come on, remember how excited you were five minutes ago?" She felt him shake his head "no" against her leg and sighed.

"I'm sorry, he's really shy, but he should be fine after a while." She tried to explain to the teacher, "No worries, we have lots of first day tears but they are normally over it by lunch."

Eva pried Julian off her legs and left him in a screaming fit in the middle of the classroom. She made her way back to her car as quickly as possible and broke down crying as soon as she shut the door. It was the first time in Julian's life that he didn't have someone he loved to comfort him and it broke her heart, she wanted to race back inside and scoop him up and take him home where she knew he was comfortable and safe but she knew he had to learn to be with kids his own age and go to school. He had to learn to function without her with him all the time. But more than anything she wanted her parents to be here for this, this was supposed to be their moment.

Eva picked up her phone, she knew exactly what her and Julian both needed. She dialed Kim's number, "Hey Eva, what's up?" Kim sounded exhausted but four month old twin boys will do that to you. "Hey, I just dropped Jules at kindergarten and it went about as horrible as you can expect." Eva chuckled trying to find the humor in the situation. "I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?" Eva tried to steady her breathing, willing herself not to have a breakdown "Really, I just want you guys to come over for dinner and distract us tonight, please." Eva knew Kim wouldn't turn her down. "Sure, well come over around four and I'll just have Adam come over after work." She relaxed knowing that someone else would be there to help with Julian.

The interview was a disaster, the hours were demanding and Eva knew having to care for Julian wouldn't allow her to work the hours that were needed. She was disappointed but this was her first interview and she would eventually find something that worked for both of them so she tried not to let it affect her as she drove to the school to pick him up. She pulled into the carpool lane and slipped his name tag into her windshield and waited for a teacher to deposit him into the backseat.

"How was school?" She smiled back at him hoping to get the same reaction. "I'm not going back to school." He crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his bottom lip out. Eva couldn't help but laugh at the petulant look on his face. "Why not? Didn't you have fun playing with the other kids and recess?"

Julian just stared at her refusing to answer, "Oh, baby it couldn't have been that bad." She tried to coax him. "Would you be happy if Uncle Adam and Aunt Kim come over for dinner with Levi and Liam?" He couldn't help himself, his face lit up at the mention of Adam. "Will uncle Adam play boxing with me?" Eva smiled, Julian had been obsessed with boxing since their dad died, Adam had taken over the gym and often took Julian with him.

"I'm sure he will but only if you promise to try school again tomorrow." Bribery was about the only tool she had in her arsenal and she was willing to use it anytime. "Fine" Julian growled under his breath causing Eva to chuckle.

"How was the day besides the "little" incident at school this morning?" Eva was sitting next to Kim on the couch watching the twins roll around floor chasing after toys. "It sucked but I'll survive." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "What happened? It couldn't have been that bad."

"I went on an interview for an internship and learned really quick that being a single parent and working is hard, I had to walk away from it." Kim rubbed Eva's shoulder and moved closer to give her a hug. "Awe, I'm sorry honey." Eva glanced at Kim, "I really wish they were here so I could have a normal life, is that selfish of me?" Kim squeezed her a little tighter, "Not selfish at all, you gave up your whole life to make sure your little brother was safe and happy, you're a hero and you're allowed to mourn what you gave up."

"Thanks for always knowing the right thing to say." Eva smiled at her and moved to get up, "Let's order pizza so we don't have to cook or clean." She laughed as she disappeared to the kitchen.


End file.
